Motivation drives everything we do, but not all motivation is created equal. Two primary types of motivation—approach motivation and avoidance motivation—determine how we tackle challenges and pursue goals. Research suggests that approach motivation, particularly when rooted in self-compassion, is more effective for long-term success and well-being.

What Are Approach and Avoidance Motivations?

• Approach Motivation
  This type of motivation focuses on moving toward a desired outcome. It’s about striving for goals, embracing challenges, and celebrating progress. For instance, deciding to exercise because it makes you feel strong and energized is an example of approach motivation.

• Avoidance Motivation
  Avoidance motivation, on the other hand, revolves around steering clear of negative outcomes. It often stems from fear, anxiety, or the desire to avoid failure. Exercising to avoid feeling guilty or gaining weight is an example of avoidance motivation.

While both can drive behavior, avoidance motivation is often linked to stress, self-criticism, and burnout. Approach motivation, especially when paired with self-compassion, leads to healthier and more sustainable outcomes.

The Science Behind Approach Motivation

Studies consistently show that approach motivation fosters higher levels of intrinsic motivation, perseverance, and happiness. When we focus on what we want to achieve—rather than what we fear—our brains reward us with dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and drive. This positive reinforcement encourages us to stay engaged and committed.

Research also reveals that approach motivation is more effective when tied to self-compassion. Self-compassion, a practice of treating oneself with kindness and understanding, reduces the fear of failure and shame that often accompany avoidance-based goals. A 2011 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that individuals with higher levels of self-compassion were more likely to maintain effort after setbacks, as they viewed challenges as opportunities to grow rather than evidence of inadequacy.

Why Self-Compassion is a Game-Changer

• Reduces Fear of Failure
  When motivated by avoidance, the fear of making mistakes can paralyze progress. Self-compassion allows us to reframe failures as learning experiences, keeping us focused on growth rather than perfection.

• Enhances Resilience
  Self-compassion helps build emotional resilience. By treating ourselves with care, we are better equipped to bounce back from difficulties and maintain momentum toward our goals.

• Boosts Intrinsic Motivation
  Approach motivation tied to self-compassion emphasizes intrinsic rewards—like joy, personal growth, and fulfillment—rather than external pressures or fears, making goals feel more meaningful and attainable.

How to Cultivate Approach Motivation

1. Set Positive Goals
   Focus on what you want to gain rather than what you want to avoid. For example, aim to eat healthier to feel more energetic rather than to avoid weight gain.

2. Practice Self-Compassion
   When setbacks occur, replace self-criticism with understanding. Remind yourself that growth is a process and mistakes are part of the journey.

3. Celebrate Small Wins
   Recognize and celebrate progress, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement strengthens approach motivation and keeps you moving forward.

The Takeaway

Approach motivation, with its focus on positive goals and intrinsic rewards, empowers us to thrive. When paired with self-compassion, it becomes a powerful force for resilience, perseverance, and well-being. By shifting our mindset from avoidance to approach, we can not only achieve our goals but enjoy the process of getting there.

-Kaci Smith, LMFT

I am a women’s therapist in California. I am passionate about bringing women together through mutually empathic relationships that foster healing and growth. I run online women’s therapy groups year round.