If we run from this discomfort, we may never find the inner strength and wisdom within us that helps us live our most authentic and fulfilling lives.

Sitting in the discomfort of the unknown can be one of the most challenging things we learn to do on our personal growth journey, but also one of the most rewarding. The unknown can bring about feelings of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety, but it can also be an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and resilience. If we run from this discomfort, we may never find the inner strength and wisdom within us that helps us live our most authentic and fulfilling lives. Here are a few tips on how to sit in the discomfort of the unknown:

1. Practice self-compassion: It requires a great deal of self-compassion to lean into the discomfort of the unknown. This works best when we recognize that our self-worth does not depend on any given outcome (whatever the future holds for us). When we expect a certain outcome and it feels uncertain to happen, we can set ourselves up for feelings of self-blame and shame, ultimately causing us to run from the discomfort of the unknown before we ever even try to sit in it.

2. Embrace the uncertainty: The first step in sitting with the unknown is to embrace it. This means recognizing that uncertainty is a natural part of life and that it's okay to not have all the answers. When you're able to accept the unknown, you're able to let go of the need for control. This ties into the idea that when we work on not being attached the outcome, we are more likely to be able to lean into the discomfort of the unknown.

3. Practice a mindful reframe: Mindfulness is a powerful tool when it comes to sitting in the discomfort of the unknown. This means being present in the moment, rather than getting caught up in worries about the future. When you're able to be present, you're able to focus on what's happening right now, rather than getting caught up in the unknown. This doesn’t even require a regular mindfulness practice in your daily life, it can just be that you are able to access the ability to reframe your thoughts in a moment of anxiety when you want to run from the discomfort of the unknown, and instead engage in positive self-talk to help you through it. When you're able to reframe your thoughts, you're able to see the opportunity for growth and self-discovery in the unknown.

4. Embrace the discomfort: Lastly, it's important to embrace the discomfort of the unknown. This means being willing to sit with the feelings of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety, rather than trying to avoid them. When you're able to embrace the discomfort, you're able to build resilience and strength. And with anything on this personal growth journey, the more you do it the easier it becomes.

Remember that sitting in the discomfort of the unknown is not easy, but it can be incredibly rewarding. It's an opportunity to learn more about yourself, grow and build resilience. The next time you're faced with the unknown, remind yourself that it is not easy for anyone, practice self-compassion, and offer yourself a positive reframe about the opportunity that might exist for you as a result of sitting in the discomfort.

Kaci Smith, LMFT 

I am a licensed psychotherapist in California. I run online, drop-in therapy groups for women in California. Visit my website to learn more!